My experience with folks that don’t observe boundaries is that we need to let them know they have crossed them; otherwise they don’t get the opportunity to learn how they are being harmful.
I used to think that as a deeply spiritual person I needed to turn the other cheek…that I was reflecting the divinity in myself by allowing them to be hurtful, telling myself they were having a bad day, “beaming unconditional love at them”. As I have grown spiritually, I am learning that allowing others to be hurtful violates the number one divine law that I learned, which is “Do No Harm”, and that allowing others to harm ME means I am violating that law.
I have also observed that giving someone feedback about how they have crossed a boundary gives them the opportunity to correct their behavior, and if they are truly wanting to heal themselves, and opportunity to go inward to see why they are driven to cross boundaries in the ways they do. But it doesn’t happen unless I let them know they were hurtful to me.
I let some people in my life hurt me for a very long time because I was “too spiritual” to say anything about their trespasses. I wasn’t creating any urgency for them to heal. I was actually contributing to their woundedness by not setting any limits. In co-dependency terms, this is called “enabling”. As I began to cherish my well being, and set limits when they crossed healthy boundaries, my life began to improve.
Join me for a discussion on Feminine/Masculine Leadership and “The Need for Boundaries” on Illumined Hearts Radio this Saturday at 1:00 Eastern. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/liciaberry