Download FREE Good Thoughts, Commitment Pages and Letters to Yourself on Angela's Ejunkie Download Page.

WHAT!?! You want me to do what!?!

by Christina Sapien on August 21, 2010

in Darkness to Light,Healing & Recovery,Mental health,Self Care

Have you ever doubted yourself?  Like truly doubted yourself, your abilities, and your purpose in life?  I have been going through some personal and professional difficulties and have been feeling pulled by something beyond myself.  It takes complete trust to continue on the path that I am on right now.  I have doubted myself so many times in life.  And even now when I begin to have these doubts, my stomach clenches, my heart races and I feel fearful.  The interesting thing is that shortly after I feel that, I get a peaceful feeling telling me that I will be alright.  Where does that feeling come from?  I have to explore all of my options, one of them being that I might be delusional. I don’t really want to explore that option, however it is a possibility. So I explore other options.  Is it me?  Could it be my inner self, my mind or maybe my higher power?

We have all had situations where our “gut” tells us something or we just don’t “feel” right.  I believe that is our intuition.  And by intuition, I mean “something” within us that is helping and guiding us to make the best decisions for ourselves.  Alright, I get that and I know that we’ve all felt that however why is it that we often don’t listen?  I have definitely had feelings about men or other situations in life or about men.   I knew I should run far away, however I ignored that nagging feeling and continued to do what I wanted to do.  I even had a dream where there were police and warning signals telling me to stay away.  Did I listen? No, of course not, because that wasn’t something I wanted to hear. 

These messages are all around us.  We get messages in our dreams, our bodies and our hearts, we may even get physical signs that we just ignore because we are either not ready or fearful about listening.  So here’s a story, I love to write and have been writing in a journal since I was a kid.  I have been feeling like I need to start writing again and to be completely honest, I was actually scared about writing (self-doubt crept in).  So this past Monday, I took my dogs for a walk (actually they took me for a walk) and about 4 houses down, in the middle of the sidewalk, was a big beautiful desk, for free!  Now, did a desk really need to be put in the middle of my path for me to get the message to start writing?  No, not necessarily but it was pretty cool.

Life is amazing, look around and listen.  You never know what you might hear but you have to be open to the messages that are coming from within you and all around you. Sometimes we haven’t listened for so long that all we hear are whispers or nothing at all.  If that is the case, I recommend spending time all alone (which can be tortuous, I know, however so necessary) to get to know yourself. Truly get to know yourself.  Sometimes we have to actively listen to ourselves and work that part of ourselves out. It takes patience and practice.

Please share any stories about when you have or have not listened to yourself, because I bet there are some powerful stories out there. I can’t wait!

Share
  • Serena Hilliard

    Christina that is a really nice article. You will be good for the survivor manual. you have sooooo much to share and what a great place to share it.

  • Anonymous

    very good thoughts here this morning. not knowing what direction to turn is number one in my world. all directions are calling but for the first time in my adult life I truly don’t know which way to go. that is scary. I’ve been through so much emotional “stuff” this last year or so and it’s rocked my world to say the least.

Previous post:

Next post: