Life is like a seesaw sometimes, with or without trauma and recovery, up and down from happiness to heartache. 
Everyone has gone through some kind of trauma it seems and trauma doesn’t have to be the same as someone else to be traumatizing. Whatever the traumatizing or heartbreaking event, it can still lead you to getting stuck in spin cycle or teetering on the edge. Until you get off the seesaw or find balance in the center, life will continue to teeter.
There’s the low times that show up in many ways from rage, fear, anxiety, addictions and being stuck in repeated abusive patterns and the high times when reach quick highs or fixes.
Sometimes swinging down into the low side, or falling down into it, is very engaging and deceptive. It can be as familiar as old family issues you may not even remember. You may think that life is just depressing and you hit the super lows no matter what. I think this video sums that up nicely of “I love the way you lie.” Loving the lie is so well put and could be more like addicted to the lie. It’s not that the two people are to their core evil, it’s much more like one set of issues meets another set of issues or two seesaws fell in the same direction and the spin begins.
Ever gotten stuck in a place of rage where you think everyone is against you, or something horrible happens and it’s hard to get out of the resentment? Did someone cheat on you or steal your money, lose your dog and insult your mother? It can be very tempting to go to the place of revenge and rage, but many times you’re angry at the person’s addictions and issues and that battle will be never ending. It’s much easier to disengage. That can be hard when you’re still on spin cycle yourself. It’s good to pay attention to the energy you’re putting out and how much that is costing you spiritually, emotionally and many times financially.
Do you want to find balance and stop the cycle of violence?
Old trauma can live in our bodies and reveal itself when we’re triggered by new trauma that is oh so similar. It’s almost like your subconscious is seeking it out or attracting it like a magnet to work it out. But you don’t have to keep working it out. You can recognize the cycle, find balance and get centered.
On the flip side you may run to the high of a new romance – off to save someone! Do you fall for the lost puppies and then put your life on hold to save them? Yes, there’s an overly elated side too. There’s the sex and love junkies, the romance addicts, constantly reaching for the high. It may feel like a blissful state when really it’s reaching for a quick high. Healthy love is when two whole people are centered together. But the quick high side is also extremely infectious just like the low side is. This can also be what they call the pink cloud in recovery too, that super high!
Have you ever cried or screamed so hard that you started laughing?
I’m all for living in a blissful state but there is such a thing as denial. Humor can be used to heal but it can also be used to hide a lot of pain. Why do you think so many comedians are so depressed? Sometimes to stop the teetering you literally have to stop the behavior. You have to disengage and be still. It’s great to purge the feelings and heal that old pain so you can move forward. I don’t think you have to stay in it though and keep reliving it to heal it. There are many ways to create new pathways in your brain that lead away from the old triggers. This video tends to help realign your thoughts:
Balance is the most peaceful place
(although my favorite place is the dance floor)
While practicing being balanced in the middle, where you look at both sides through wider lenses, it’s easier to not fall into an old pattern on one side or dive into denial on the other. There’s a healthy balance of expressing your emotions and not being slave to them either.
You can get to the place of seeing others on their own seesaws and not engaging in their rise or fall. Giggle therapy helps.
Through my travels speaking with thousands of survivors I’ve met those who are so tough and strong that you think they’re going to attack you if you smile at them. After speaking at length to the them, I found out that they were terrified to cry. I’ve also met those who can’t stop crying and are terrified to reach into the place where they find the courageous voice within to speak up for themselves. On one side, you have fear of tears and on the other fear of anger. But most of all people fear the change that comes when you get out of the pattern, when you stop teetering and are quiet and alone. Here’s a great one for that:
You affect the room when you walk in with a heavy angry chip on your shoulder as much as you do when you coming in beaming with contentment. I wonder with the right amount of alternate energy, if you could turn a bar fight into a laughing fit.
When you have a respect for both sides and honor them in healthy ways, the teetering stops. For those who need to rage, maybe it’s time to create a dance floor. For those pushing the pain way, maybe it’s time to sit still and feel it. It won’t swallow you whole. Balance helps you stay centered.
Where are you on the seesaw and how do you find your balance?
