Many child sexual abuse survivors experience flashbacks. A flashback is a recurrence of a past incident, an “intrusive recalling of a traumatic event(s).” Flashbacks can include “body memories”. Body memories are re-experienced body sensations and or pain originally associated with the trauma. The body may remember what was done to it without the mind’s awareness. Some survivors have memories of their abuse that are so vivid that the person feels as if they are experiencing the original abuse again as they remember. They may feel the same intense painful feelings in their bodies and in their emotions.
Flashbacks may be triggered through memories in any of the senses. Some examples would be hearing abusive language, threats to keep silent, the smell of supper cooking which signalled the time of the abuse, hearing water running in the bathtub and remembering how that always preceded or followed abuse, feeling the texture of a particular blanket on a bed.
Flashbacks can be frightening to both the survivor and to their supporters or partners. A survivor may want to scream or throw things or act in ways they many not have been able to act as a child.
If you are with a survivor while she is experiencing a flashback, here are some things you might say and do to assist:
- Do you need to find a place that is safe? E.g. Do you feel safe right now, where can you go to be safe, do you need to call a friend to see if you can be with them for a while
- Would you like to call a support person? Is it enough to talk to me, do you need to be with a friend or counsellor?
- Remember, it is only a memory, what you are experiencing is very frightening, but it is a memory. No one is hurting you right now, even if it feels that way. You are safe
- Assist them in grounding themselves:
- Encourage them to take slow, gentle breaths. Tell them that if they would like they can remember what they need to know without experiencing the physical pain. You may have them slowly; calmly look around the room to establish where they are (in their home, your office, etc.). You might want them to describe out loud where they are and the fact that the abuser is not present.
- Tell them: Remember isolation and silence were part of the abuse. Do whatever you can to offset these elements in the present.
