Self-care or self-nurturing is having the courage to pay attention to your own needs. This means empowerment for an individual, the power that comes when a goal is achieved. It is also a time to enjoy being alive and being a unique person. Self-nurturing also involves self-acceptance. In caring for our needs, we can find the freedom to make our own choices and direct our own lives.
Ways to care for ourselves include:
- Building a personal support system
- Learning to recognize and deal with stress
- Achieving balance in the four aspects of our lives: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.
Building a Personal Support System
We all need personal support systems. It does not mean that you are incapable or childish when you ask for support; instead it means that you know that we cannot always do everything on our own.
A support system is a network of people who give you support. There are many kinds of support including:
- Practical support e.g. getting a ride from a friend when your usual means of transportation is unavailable
- Intellectual support e.g. sharing information, suggesting resources and books that may be helpful
- Emotional support e.g. someone that comforts you when you are feeling down, validating your feelings
- Spiritual support e.g. someone that inspires you, renews your hope, encourages you to believe in the strength of your own inner spirit
Your support network is made of individuals who care about you and who are able and willing to offer assistance according to your needs and their abilities.
When you are building a personal support system, take time to identify who you want to be part of it.
- List people you see often, including friends, family members, neighbours, co-workers, people you’ve met in self-help groups or workshops, health professionals, counselors or therapists, casual acquaintances
- ask yourself the following questions about each person:
- Is this person trustworthy?
- Does this person know something about survivors and child sexual abuse?
- What kind of support do you hope to receive from this person?
- What qualities do these people have that make them feel like supporters?
- How do you feel when you are with this person? e.g. comforted, uplifted, energized
- Make a short list of people who fill your needs and who could be part of your support system:
- Write down each person’s name, phone or email
- Add how they support you e.g. someone to assist me in crisis, someone who gives me honest feedback, someone I can trust with my house key etc.
