Inspiring & Empowering Survivors to lead Joyful lives.

Slaying the dragon can be daunting, but Alice did it.  Slaying the dragon  can also be a metaphor for quitting a habit or leaving an abusive situation in your work or home life.  Slaying the dragon is like being pierced with the sword, removing it and using it. To do that, you must go through the first step of acknowledging the issue.  It can be depressing to recognize an abusive situation.  So many times we want to make excuses and justify the behavior of an abuser because we may want to take care of them.  We want to help them.  We want to fix it for them.  Or we may simply not be able to acknowledge that the person we knew or thought we knew is an abuser. You may think you’re crazy.  Many abusers set up systems to make you think you’re nuts.  They can be incredibly charming and sweet to others, and in public, and only demonic when they are alone with you.

The good news is that you get better and better at seeing patterns of abuse in people as you grow through these steps.  Leaving an first abusive situation may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life – especially if the abuser is yourself!  But once you do that, you will begin to see more clearly and stand up for yourself in all areas of your life.  When you see an abuser begin to use tactics on you at work for example, you will know it is time to leave.  When you see the first signs of controlling behavior on the first date, it’s time to not be available for a second one.  You get better at listening to your intuition and how your body sends you warning signals like that gut feeling or that sixth sense.

Sometimes you’re in a relationship with someone at home or work who is wounded and not healed.  Once you’ve been through your own healing, it is easier to recognize the painful patterns others are playing out.  It also gets easier to not get into the drama dance with them.  You have every right to protect yourself.  Sometimes if you love something or someone you have to leave if they are stuck in their pain body as Eckart Tolle calls is.

Many times those who have been through trauma tend to become caretakers.  They can spend a lot of time trying to pull someone out of their patterns while that person is trying to pull them right into the center of the problem.  At some point, you need to bless the wounded and leave the abusive situation.

People have to work out their own lives.  The best thing you can do is to be an example of healing and joy and not allow abuse, violence and harm into your life.  Breathing calmly and not getting into someone’s cycle with them is also slaying the dragon. You have the right to be loved, respected and cared for.  You have the right to leave.

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